What Will You Give Up?

To Be Who You Need To Be

Tim Dennings brought this idea to my attention via his Substack here.

What will you give up in order to chase your obsession?

Before I got married there were sporadic reminders from family that there was no rush for children, we were young and had plenty of time.

That all changed, I shit you not, the day of my wedding. I was stunned. We were at the reception. No, it wasn’t a joke.

Of course, I had been asking myself the very same question. What would it take for me to feel ‘ready’ to have a kid. I had no illusions that one day I would have it all figured out, but there were a few career milestones I wanted to reach before needing to divide my attention. What else?

Here’s the answer I gave that no one liked: “I’ll be ready to have kids when I’m done spending money on myself.”

Very few people understood what I meant. More than a few were vocal about this.

But it was the truth. I was fresh into the next step of my career as a newly-minted commissioned officer in the Canadian Armed Forces. I had just gone from earning $18k a year to earning $42k a year. Three years later it was $75k a year.

For the first time in my life I had money to spare. Or spend it turned out. I indulged in finer things. Foods. Wines. Vacations. I explored hobbies that caught my hyperfocus, without real concern about starting costs.

Eventually I recognized the diminishing returns on dopamine hits from new and shiny things. The point I had been waiting for. I was ready to spend money on having kids.

Verdict, in hindsight: solid investment, incredible growth year over year. Outperforms anything else I’ve spent money on.

What about now?

What am I willing to give up to pursue my obsession?

And you?

What’s your obsession, and what sacrifice did it require?